We have a trip planned to Wisconsin later this summer. It will be the first time we've been back as an entire family since C was about 6 months old (he'll be 7 this fall.) DH & I have been back separately a few times - most recently I took the boys for a visit last summer.
Since we'll ALL be back this time, and we have a new baby, the number of people we need to visit is much higher. We'll be staying with my folks for the first few days of our trip, then taking a 2 day side trip to the Wisconsin Dells (to celebrate our 10th anniversary - also the site of our honeymoon!), then back to the Milwaukee area for the last few days of our trip (and staying in a hotel.) That final weekend is full of family reunion (my family) parties.
SO, in the first 3 days of our trip, we need to visit the zoo with my brother and his wife, visit my FIL and his wife, visit DH's cousins (who are also the boys' godparents), visit DH's 3 close friends from his days in the Nat'l Guard and their wives, visit the parents of DH's best friend since high school (who we have neglected our last 5 trips back to WI and they are such good people that we CANNOT skip them this trip), and keep my parents happy with enough time with us and the kids before all the extended family shows up. OH, and keep a 3 month old baby happy and content as well as her big brothers.
THEN, we drive to the Dells and spend 2 days as a family. Back late Friday night and we start visiting with all my extended family that is flying in for the family reunion / 40th anniversary party my parents are throwing that encompasses the weekend.
Back home on a Monday. Almost 9 hours in airports and airplanes because I booked connecting flights instead of a direct flight.
And a DH who is okay doing everything by the seat of his pants and I can't get him to make some calls and make some plans so I can organize some sort of timetable to ensure we make the necessary visits.
And it's a given that NOBODY will be happy with the amount of time we spend with them, and feelings will be hurt. (speaking from experience here . . . )
BUT, I can't see us making another trip back in the next few years -- so they'll have plenty of time to get over it.
I had toyed with the idea of only flying in for the weekend and using that as an excuse that we couldn't see anybody -- but in the end we decided to take an entire week. Which seems like a long time until you try to fit everyone in. Of course, we could have skipped the Dells -- but our 10th anniversary falls in the middle of that week and who knows when we would be back again for a visit?
I'm sure in the end it will be worth it. We'll have lots of pictures of our extended family which are precious. We will find the time to see the people I've listed and hopefully everyone will understand the limitations we're under. A 3 month old can nap pretty much anywhere, so it's not like we need to be someplace where she can nap consistently in a bed.
I just need to let go of the stress, and perhaps pick up the phone myself and make some calls to arrange visits. Or write out the details for DH and sit by him while he makes the calls.