While I may have kicked and screamed part of the way, I'm entering a new season of life. I've been mostly out of the workforce since C's birth almost 8 years ago (minus a few short-lived attempts at returning to work), but things just can't continue as they have. The economy is souring, DH's sales are dwindling, and our family's survival is on the line.
A few months ago, I set a goal for myself to earn X amount per month. I worked hard to find a few freelance writing opportunities and have 3 solid, regular opportunities a month. Those 3 jobs got me close to my goal, and one more would likely put me right where I wanted to be.
I was excited about this because I can work from home, around my schedule, and continue to homeschool. I didn't need any child care and while I've been burning the midnight oil to find the quiet to concentrate - I was able to sleep in most mornings.
Well, the economy kept getting worse and credit is tighter than ever. DH's income has been dropping between 30 and 40% the last couple years and it's still dropping. I realized that while I was proud of myself for getting so close to my goal - it just wasn't enough. We already live a frugal lifestyle, and groceries keep getting more expensive.
My desire was to continue homeschooling (at least this year. next year is unknown.) and remain the primary caretaker of my children. I recognized that my goal had to be at least double of my previous assumption. While this number isn't enough to support the family, it will go a long way to helping us meet our bills.
Today I met with a training company and have decided to return to desktop training. It felt so good to be in that classroom again (before C was born, I worked for a training company and was a top trainer.) I will be a part-time, contract trainer available two days a week. I requested the days I'd be available, so that DH could care for the kids one of the days and I'd only need care for Lydia the other since the boys would be at their enrichment program. Time will tell how busy I'll be, but I hope that my breadth of classes will keep me busy most of my available days.
I will continue my freelance writing gigs, and search for a couple more in case one or more disappear. If I also train at least 6 days/month, I should meet my goal.
I had to disband the mom's group I started at our parish 3 years ago. It was difficult to pull the plug, but I just don't have the time or energy to grow the group or give it the attention it needs. This season means pulling inward for our family and concentrating on our household and our needs.
I'll continue my blogs, because I enjoy them and love the relationships I've found. I also love doing reviews and sharing what I've learned. So, this blog won't be changing (much, I actually have some ideas about this site, but I think you'll like them!)
I'm excited (and nervous) and grateful. I'm calm and expectant and confident. I know it will be easier to sleep at night. I'm looking forward to the changes, and I plan to embrace them.