Thursday, March 06, 2008

sorry for self

I pulled my last post and I apologize if you happened to read it. (Although, Deb, I must tell you that your comment brought me to tears and touched me deeply. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.)

I am feeling sorry for myself and I know it. Shame on me!

I have always prided myself on having no regrets and living in the present. I don't know if it's turning 40, or a variety of other things, but I've been re=living much too many things lately and wishing I had made different decisions. Some little, some big -- but every decision made has brought me to this moment.

And because every decision has brought me to THIS moment -- with troubles and suffering -- but also great joy -- I cannot regret any of those decisions. My children are the light of my life and the song in my heart. (could I be more cliched? Oh, well) It may be time for new beginnings and I know I have the strength to start again.

The trials of the moment may be the kick in the pants I needed. Only time will tell.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Melanie. I read the post in my bloglines - and I think your feelings are totally legit. I'd be in exactly the same boat you're in career wise...

    I think you do what you feel to be God's Will - and if it seems obvious that you have to go back to work, just do it and enjoy the break - you're doing what you can and with faith in God. It won't be forever - all will be well as long as you walk in faith, and I know you will.

    Meanwhile, I will keep you in my prayers for peace in your heart.

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  2. I didn't read the post before it was deleted, but I can relate to feeling sorry for oneself right now! I'm being terrible about that, and I am so blessed [as you are too!]. Sometimes it is hard not to just wallow I guess. :(

    Kelly

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