Friday, November 19, 2010

I Need To Talk . . . Apparently quite a lot

Bo is my best friend.  He's the one I want to talk to when I'm having a good day, a bad day, or any kind of day in between.  I need to share my thoughts and ideas and frustrations with someone, and he's usually the recipient of most of it because . . . well, because.  He's my husband and my best friend. The one who understands me more than anyone else, even though I don't think anyone can understand anyone else completely.  He usually sees what I need, and does his best to provide it -- whether it's a mid-afternoon nap or a big hug.

This past 10 days has been difficult for me communication-wise.  First I was gone and while we texted and spoke to each other, we didn't have any long conversations as there was much going on.  And now he's gone and very busy and our opportunity for conversations has been extremely limited.  Okay, non-existent.  I've done my best to wait for his calls . . . and then they've been quick "How was your day. Fine. And yours? Oh, wait, I've got another call . . . I'm expected somewhere . . . I am distracted by shiny things and need to hang up but I'll call you back" and then he doesn't.

I'm not angry, but I am lonely and missing his companionship.  Because I do have a need to talk and communicate and share and he's not here and not available either. So while I'm not angry, I'm frustrated.  And, I realize that even though I've always said I wouldn't re-marry I think I would go crazy if I didn't, so I'm not going to say that anymore.  Sorry, babe. 

Sunday can't come soon enough.

6 comments:

  1. Something shiny? Where? That about sums Bo up. I think it's funny that you'd remarry. I always tell Sara that I'd be remarried in 6 months. To someone 1o years younger. She doesn't find it that funny...

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  2. LOL! I think it's funny that you read my blog more than he does. I always said he would remarry; he hates to be alone - but I didn't think I would need to. Maybe I need to talk more the older I get.

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  3. I think it's hard to say what we'd do after the loss of a spouse. It's really hard to consider what we'd imagine we'd do in the worst case scenario where the unimaginable happens. I think I'd probably re-marry IF I could find someone. I certainly hope Deron would.

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  4. I agree that we don't truly know what we'd do if something like that would happen. I would rather not think about it all . . . but I did realize something this week that I hadn't considered before re: how much I am used to sharing my days and how hard it is when I don't have that outlet. I am sure that I would compensate as needed, but am also glad that I don't have to figure it out right now since he will be home tomorrow.

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  5. Anonymous4:48 PM

    Not funny this remarry stuff and I maintain that I would not remarry however...

    DH

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  6. Heheh... I always thought I'd remarry too, but it turns out not so much - now that I have the option, I find I don't wanna. :)

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