I don't think I necessarily have the postpartum blues, but I think I may have a case of postpartum anxiety.
I have a LOT of anxiety right now and I'm trying to work through it but it feels like I'm covered in prickers at the moment. I've got the basics okay -- as in the kids are all fed as needed, everyone has clean clothes each day (even though the piles of laundry keep growing - I can't seem to get on TOP of it), the bills are being paid (I handle the books in the house, DH earns the cash), lessons are being taught (even though we took a couple days off last week.)
All that being said, I'm still on edge. I cry at the drop of a hat. I have scary thoughts of DH being in a car crash, or worse. I have another strong anxiety that I won't give words to, but it has gripped me tight. I can barely do the minimum housework -- and haven't been able to touch anything beyond that. There are projects I really need (want?) to get done before my parents visit in November, and they add to my stress level.
DH is being wonderful, and the kids are just fine. It's just me. I know I'm not tooo bad because I'm not having panic attacks over driving (usually a sign for me that I'm not doing well.)
One of the odd things is that I'm extremely calm outwardly. I'm not losing my temper or outwardly freaking out about things. But -- inside?? It's like a cactus in here!
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Matthew 6:28
I have this verse copied in various places around the house, and even tucked into my wallet right now. Maybe that's why I'm able to appear calm and composed.
I would appreciate prayers, though, that this can pass.