I often hear about the "seasons of life" when mothers are making sacrifices for their families and they're offered encouragement by saying that it's just their season at the moment. I've realized in the last couple weeks that I'm headed into a new season, and I confess that I'm a bit excited by it.
For the last decade or so, I've been primary caretaker of my family and children. It's a role that I enjoyed (most of the time) and accepted and reveled in (at times.) The last year has been one of changes, and I think I'm only recently realizing how big they've been.
In the past few years, Bo has had opportunities to travel and while I've always encouraged and supported him - I admit that part of me wondered if it would ever be my turn again. The last month has shown me that my turn is coming and we'll all have to shift a bit in our ways to accept it.
In the last year, I've started and expanded a freelance writing career, pushed my blog to bigger & better, returned to training on a part-time basis, put my children with a sitter when necessary, gone away overnight with my hubby, taken an online class to improve my writing skills, taken a short vacation with my sister, traveled to General Mills to learn more and share my viewpoint . . . all of which has been made easier by a supportive husband and a good circle of friends.
I fumbled through a good portion of the last year, reaching out and doing new things as a necessity in the economic downturn. I want to be more aware in the next twelve months -- be more specific in my goals and straightforward in my intentions. I don't see myself returning to a stay-at-home mom again; but instead I see myself continuing to grow in career choices and developing a part of my life that has been dormant for a while.
It's not easy, and I still have huge gobs of mommy guilt some days when I drop the kids off at childcare, or turn on the TV at home because I have a deadline to meet. I'm also tired, and frazzled, some days as I try to juggle all the different roles. I'm going to keep asking for help. I'm going to keep striving for more. I'm going to keep reaching beyond the status quo to see what is possible!
I don't have all the answers. I can only do the best that I can for my family -- as we are at any given moment. Right now -- that means I have to go dance with my 2yo's Barbies!