Tell Me Thursday - Dad

This is the last picture I took of my Dad.  We were sitting outside in the courtyard of the hospice, enjoying the sun and warm breezes. There were many birds in the courtyard, and we talked about how much noise they made.  We mostly sat there quietly.  My Dad was always a thoughtful man -- thinking about many different things and contemplating things and figuring things out. He was so very intelligent, and the liver disease stole away pieces of his brain.

Today marks a month since his passing.  I miss him so much, and know that I always will.

His memorial service was very special.  My mom & brother gathered things that meant a lot to him and had them displayed in the chapel.  They brought in a large print of a photograph he took, a gargoyle (which he collected), a Tardis (for his love of sci-fi), and other items.  I compiled a number of pictures that the funeral home made into a slide show that played on a screen throughout the service.

My brother started things off, then Colin played Largo from Dvorak's New World Symphony on his viola.  Then I spoke, and my Dad's only brother, then his cousin, and finally my mom.  Nate wrapped it up playing the same piece, but on his string bass.  My Dad loved music, and I know he would have loved knowing the boys played for him one more time.

My mom had asked for donations to the AZ Humane Society, but some people still sent flowers.  I think there were 3 arrangements with tropical birds of paradise -- and I don't think I ever want to see another one.

Each eulogy given was special in its own way. This is what I shared about my Dad:

I want to thank you all for coming today.  My dad was a special person, and will be missed.  As the original daughter, I was his favorite . . .  well, until my sister, Jane, was born anyway. And, then Matt came along. Truthfully, my dad didn’t play favorites, but instead loved his children for their uniqueness and their own gifts.

 There are so many memories of my Dad that I cherish – waking up before dawn when I was very small and seeing him come in from work when he was driving a truck for Mobil, road trips to visit places across the U.S.,him leaving small gifts for me when we worked in the same office, his solo visit to Arizona soon after we moved here.  I cherish these memories in my heart. 

People often ask me how I ended up working with computers. I always tell them that I have my father to thank for that.  In high school, I wanted to take jewelry making.  Instead, he insisted that I take a BASIC programming class.  In high school, I also took the secretarial track by following his advice, and that knowledge helped me feel comfortable with computers when they were just taking off, and also helped me find higher paying jobs as I went through school.  Today, I love teaching others how to use software and simple programming – all in thanks to that push from my Dad.  In fact, I am so used to training that at this point I feel like I should pause and ask for questions. 

My father was a man devoted to his family.  His family always came first, and there was no doubt that he put us before anything else.  He loved talking about his children and his grandchildren to anyone who would listen. Especially during these last years, I was able to be with him when he would regale nurses and aides with stories of how proud he was of us.

He was especially devoted to my mom. Their love for each other was obvious to anyone, and that love was strong and passionate.  For as long as I can remember, they were always by each others’ side.   He doted on her, and did his best to make her feel special and loved every day.

 My Dad loved to learn. He would read about anything – just to learn more about it. He was curious and interested in how things worked, and especially loved new technologies.  The books in our home covered every topic imaginable, and provided many hours of enjoyable reading during my childhood. One thing that I strive to instill in my own children is that life-long love of learning. 

My Dad also loved music.  His CD collection was eclectic and far reaching.  He especially enjoyed Irish and Indian flute music, but that by no means limited what he enjoyed listening to. Not many of you may know this, but among my Dad’s love of music – he loved funny Christmas music.  He had quite the collection of humorous Christmas songs that he loved to play during the holidays.    

I’m going to miss my father fiercely.  He was a loving, compassionate, respectful man. Even though we may not have always agreed, he respected my intelligence and my choices.  He never insulted me for making the choices I did.  I know he loved me, and I will hold that in my heart for the rest of my life.

Tell Me Thursday -- this boy

I don't have a favorite child, but when I'm sick -- this child is my favorite child.  He is the most caring, most empathetic, and most gentle person to have around when you're not feeling well.

I know -- what a surprise! -- but I was sick again this week.  This time, the entire family came down with a stomach bug.  Nate got it a day earlier than I did, so when I was feeling like a truck hit me, he was the one who made sure I had drinks and even made me Jell-O (and now you know another secret about me -- when I'm sick I crave Jell-O.  I also craved it throughout my pregnancy with him.)

He also quietly played with his sister and plugged in headphones to the television so the sound wouldn't disturb me.  None of which I asked him to do -- he just knew what to do.

This picture is of him visiting his grandfather in the hospice last month. He's also the only one in my family who really talks about his grief or asks about mine.  He's one special kid, and I am honored to be his mom.

Tell Me Thursday -- Greystoke

Greystoke is the beautiful cat in this picture, who was rescued by my sister this week. But this picture really isn't about the cat. It's about the beautiful woman who is my sister, who has held my heart from the moment my mom brought her home from the hospital.

A person couldn't dream of a better sister -- loving, caring, not afraid to tell me when I'm unreasonable, and able to make me laugh until my sides hurt or I spit out my drink.

And my kids couldn't have a better aunt -- fun, loving, adventurous, kind, dependable, and always ready to listen.

My life is so much richer with her in it. And her kitties are lucky to spoiled by her, too!

Tell Me Thursday - hands

This is a very difficult "Tell Me Thursday" post to write. This picture is my hand in my father's hand, taken sometime last week. It's also the lock screen on my phone.

He spent the last couple weeks under hospice care, and left this world late Monday night.  He battled long and hard, but finally reached a point where he couldn't fight anymore.

My Dad loved his family above all else.  His love for my mom began in high school and continued unwavering for 48 years. She was the light of his eye, and his constant companion.  He was her protector.  My Dad was a romantic - always writing her love poems and notes, and showering her with jewelry.  Their example of commitment and love started me well in my own marriage.

He adored his children. I remember one year that he was on a business trip that was during my birthday, and he made a special effort to return the night of my birthday.  I also remember him leaving little gifts on my desk when we worked in the same government office early in my career.

We never hung up the phone, or walked out the door, without saying " I love you! "  There is no doubt that I was well-loved by my father.  And that love was multiplied for my sister and my brother.  When I would be out with him, he would regale pretty much anybody who would listen to stories about his 3 children (and his 3 grandchildren as well!)

There's a million more stories I could tell. It's tough right now.

My sister and I were with him, each holding one of his hands and telling him how much we loved him in his last moments.  I held his hand in the last couple months more than I had in the last couple decades. I wish I had held them more often. You never know when the last time may be.

Tell Me Thursday - makes me smile

My picture yesterday (in case you couldn't tell!) is the front of my refrigerator. It makes me smile every time I look at it because it's covered in pictures of my sweet family, magnets from places we've visited (or that mean something to me - like my saint magnets) and various notes from the kids teachers when they've done something noteworthy.

Sometimes I go through phases where I think we should have a clear refrigerator . . . and then I miss my pictures and my magnets and they slowly creep back.  A blank stainless steel front can't begin to compare to the smiles brought on by the slightly messy jumble that is there now.

Tell Me Thursday - listen to mom

That sweet note was written by Lydia (Please listen to Mom. If she wants anything get it for Mom.)

It's been a long couple weeks around here.  More than 2 weeks ago, another kidney stone struck, that turned into a kidney infection and resulted in lots and lots of pain, high fevers, puking, feeling terrible and lots of time in bed watching Netflix Instant Stream.  (Oh! And missed work.  Way too much missed work.)  It hasn't been fun - for anyone.

Lydia wrote the note after a meltdown I may have had while Bo was out of town for work and I felt like I was being kidney-punched and slightly delirious.

I am feeling better, but still not well.  Lydia said, as she came with me to run an errand a couple days ago, "I'm really glad you're not doing that groaning anymore.  It really annoyed me."  Yes, my daughter is nothing if not honest.  I assured her that my groaning annoyed me too.

I'm off to see a brand new urologist tomorrow, in hopes that he can help more than the one I've been seeing the last 2 1/2 years.  In addition to the strain on my family caring for me, I've lost a ton of work, and I'm now nervous to accept any travel in case a stone strikes while I'm far from home.  I have no warning -- just POOF! I'm in excruciating pain.

And that's just a tiny look into all that is going on right now -- the other stories aren't mine to share -- but they are mine to live.  I need to get healthy again so that I can deal with the rest of the storms brewing.

Tell Me Thursday - Whitnall

Bo & Colin are back from Wisconsin, but this is one of the pictures Bo sent me while they were gone.  This was the house we moved out of to make our move to Arizona.

This is the house we lived in when we were newlyweds.

I know it's not pretty - or even charming - but it holds some wonderful memories and it tugged at my heart when I got the text message with this picture.

Memories.

Tell Me Thursday - Egg Drop

Yesterday's picture found Nate standing on top of our truck, crossing his fingers that his second model of a successful egg drop contraption wouldn't fail!  (It did!)

He came up with 3 different ideas to test, and the final one survived the drop from the truck. With modifications made to each idea along the way, I think we went through 7 eggs before the end.  The next day at school, it had to survive a drop from the school roof, so we hoped the extra few feet wouldn't hurt. 

Colin had the same assignment (through their Gifted & Talented program) and his first attempt survived the drop, so he was good.

At school, Nate's creation survived 2 drops (it was only required to survive the first drop from the roof -- but they kept trying different things to see how long the eggs could survive.  One kid's egg survived 4 drops.)  He was very pleased with himself, as was I because he thought things through, made sure he followed the rules, and was successful.

 

Colin's egg did not survive the first drop.  He still did a great job, though, and they all had fun doing it.

Tell Me Thursday -- learning

This is my kitchen table, with 2 laptops and a monitor.  I'm taking a remote class from home this week to learn more about SharePoint.  It's been a great week -- very informative and I can throw in laundry while I'm on break!

I need 2 laptops so I can watch the class on one, while accessing the remote computer from the other.  My poor eyesight meant I couldn't see the remote PC, so Bo set up the monitor so I could actually see the icons on the screen.

Taking a class remotely requires strong attention skills, because it is easy to become distracted.  Luckily, I'm really interested in the topic, so my days have seemed to fly by and I've picked up some very useful information that I will be able to use in my classes.  The instructor has been great -- very knowledgeable and entertaining, which also helps make the experience a good one.

I'm back in front of the classroom again next week, but I've enjoyed being behind the desk this week!

Tell Me Thursday #2 (Broken 60" TV)

Can you guess what this is?

It's the corner of our 58" plasma TV screen.

Did you know that if it is hit with the hard end of a Nerf sword, it would crack in this lovely starburst pattern and never turn on again?  Did you also know that you can't replace the screen (at least not cost effectively)?

Yep.  That happened Tuesday afternoon.  The boys were play-fighting with Nerf swords and a Nerf axe in the living room when suddenly there was quiet.  Silly Bo & I thought that they were actually off doing the chore we reminded them had to be done a few minutes earlier.

When they slunk into the back of the house a couple minutes later, they said "You know how you're always telling us to not fight in the living room because the TV might get broken?  We cracked the screen."

At first, we thought it was a joke.  Quickly, we found that it was not.

If you know my sweet husband, you know how he is about his televisions.  When we were dating, I was hoping for an engagement ring and he came home with a big screen TV in time for the SuperBowl in 1996.   (I did get my ring a couple months later.)  He loves television, and he loves watching on a high quality, large set.

He was literally speechless Tuesday afternoon.  He is wonderful about always putting the spin on things that things are just things and people are what matters -- but his belief in that was tested this week.  In the end, it's just a television set.   He told the boys he was most angry because they were doing something that we often reprimand them for, and that they should have been outside if they wanted to rough house.

But, his precious TV is still broken.

Tell Me Thursday #1 (Weekend Away From Kids)

The picture is a little dark, I know -- but can you see how relaxed I am?

Bo & I somehow convinced my parents to keep the kids overnight so we could have a getaway. Last weekend, we headed over to the Kierland Westin Resort in Scottsdale to check out Phoenix Cooks!  We went a couple years ago and had fun, so we thought it was time to see what delicious fare local restaurants are creating these days.

We sampled a ton of great food, sampled a wide variety of wines provided by Safeway, as well as some Alaskan ale and a couple different hard liquors.  The venue was crowded, but we weren't in any hurry, so we didn't mind waiting in line.

I am torn as to what was my favorite -- either the Lobster Mash that topped mashed potatoes served in a martini glass by Mastro's or the unbelievably tasty chicken meatball and sauce served by NoRTH Modern Italian Cuisine.  I think the meatball may win because if I had to choose only one restaurant to visit, it would be NoRTH!

Bo's favorite bite was a pulled pork taco that unfortunately we lost the name of the restaurant!  If anyone was there, and knows what I'm talking about, please leave a comment and let me know.  His second favorite was that meatball.

I was excited that the event was held at the Kierland Westin because that is the same location the National Stuttering Association is holding this summer's conference.  I had never been there before, so I was glad we had a chance to visit, and thanks to my parents we spent the night.

The resort was gorgeous.  Service was top notch (and I can be so picky some days!) I liked the fact the rooms had real glass glasses (I don't like drinking out of plastic) and I liked that they included tea with the coffee maker (since I don't drink coffee.)  The room was large and comfortable, with a small balcony.  It was clean and welcoming.

After eating all day, we really didn't think we needed a regular dinner, so we stopped into the Waltz & Weiser Saloon on property for a drink and appetizers. We couldn't decide on an appetizer, so ordered the nachos, wings and chicken quesadilla.  The nachos were huge!  We could have fed a half dozen friends with the pile of nachos, but they were also delicious.  As were the ribs and quesadilla.

As we were sitting in the gorgeous lobby upstairs, I was thinking about how fun it will be in July when the halls are full of members of the National Stuttering Association.  I have had such an amazing time at the last 2 conferences that I can't wait until they all come here to my home to have a blast!

We headed home mid-day Sunday, after a relaxing, luxurious morning.  It was a fabulous weekend!

Tell Me Thursday - Recovery

Last summer, I posted a very similar picture.

Thankfully, this summer I was not as sick as last summer, but it was my kidneys that took me out again.  Early last month, I knew I didn't feel right and thought I may have a kidney stone.

I upped my fluid intake, I tried to rest, I kept working and doing what needed to be done.  In the middle of the month, I woke Bo in the middle of the night and said "I need to go to the hospital!"

Again, thankfully, this trip didn't end up in a multi-day stay.   I was sent home after a few hours and a few heavy painkillers after a CT scan that found a "handful" of stones.  A couple days later, and I was feeling better . . . until I wasn't . . . until I was.  That's the fun with kidney stones!  You think you're fine until another one sneaks out.

Nate & I had the conference planned, I had work scheduled, and I didn't make it to my urologist until almost a month had passed.  He took one look at my scan and said "We need to do surgery.  That one is never leaving on its own."

Again, I had work scheduled (there are so many benefits to working for myself and being a trainer -- but being able to take off work at the last minute is not one of them) so I tried to bargain with him when he offered to do the surgery in a few days and he said "No.  We need to do this now."

I got home and sent out a few emails informing clients I couldn't fulfill my obligations (and I'm thinking that it probably sunk me with one client, but there wasn't anything I could do)  I finished the classes I had scheduled last week (including a class in Albuquerque on Friday), then checked in Monday afternoon at the hospital.

Laser lithotripsy was done on an outpatient basis, and I was glad to be back in my own bed that evening.   There were actually 2 large stones (7mm and 9mm for those interested) and my doctor felt he successfully broke them up.  At home, I drank lots, took a couple pain pills and have been taking it easy this week.

This recovery is much easier and faster than last summer and that's another reason to be grateful.  I'm also grateful for skilled doctors, caring family and understanding clients.  And the fact my mom lives close by now and she made me cakes and creamed peas and tuna this week, as well as keeping an eye out for the kids.  (Except for Colin.  He's been at space camp all week and enjoying himself immensely!!)

This is NOT a summer tradition I want to start, however!

Tell Me Thursday - It's the Little Things

I know the picture above was a little hard to see.  I found it stuck to my door on my way to bed Tuesday night.  It's a drawing made by Lydia of the cup I often take to work, and the note "bring cup to work".

Tuesday night, I mentioned how I had forgotten my cup and Nate mentioned that he would make me a sign so I would remember.  I laughed and said that wasn't necessary -- but I did need to remember it so that I drink enough during the day.  Lydia overheard, and took it on herself to draw my cup and then enlisted Colin to write the note.  She then found a couple stickers and stuck it to my door so I couldn't miss it.

I have such sweet kids!

I'm happy to say that I DID remember my cup today.  Here's a picture of it at work -- Lydia did a pretty great representation of it!  (And I have to say that I love my Tervis Tumbler.  It keeps ice for hours, and I also love the lid that I found so that I don't worry about spills.  Now, I just need to buy some extra long straws.)

Tell Me Thursday - Boots

A couple months ago, Lydia and Nate began horse riding lessons.  Nate purchased his boots last summer in Texas; Lydia received hers as a birthday gift from her uncle.  They are both proud of their boots, and love wearing them. They wear them for each lesson, and they came home usually caked with mud and . . . well . . . poop.

So, they sit on the front stoop until they are washed off and ready for another horse riding lesson!

Tell Me Thursday - Halloween Pumpkins

That huge pumpkin plant that I posted yesterday?  It's growing in my backyard.

Last Halloween, we went to the Desert Botanical Garden, just like we have done for 8 or more years.  They always have a hay ride out to the pumpkin patch and the kids all are able to choose a pumpkin.  It's an event we always look forward to in October.

The last couple years, the boys have put their pumpkins out in a planter box to watch them decompose after Halloween.  It's been a great learning experience as they rush out to see what bugs are in it, and how much it has dried out, disappeared, etc.  (I have a black thumb . . . good intentions . . . but rarely successful, so the planter box is usually empty.)

This year, I started again -- planting some sunflowers and a few tomato plants.  And the kids noticed that something that didn't look like a weed was growing in the planter box.  So I began watering it.

And realized after a few weeks that it was a pumpkin plant!  You can see that it has grown very large.  It is also full of blossoms, and the 2nd picture yesterday showed a very tiny pumpkin that was the result of one of the first blossoms.

We're doing our best to water it, and I hope that it survives the worst of the summer so that the kids can choose their pumpkins right in our own backyard this October!

Tell Me Thursday -- Sunflowers

If all goes well (meaning I remember to water), this round area will be full of sunflowers in a month.

I love sunflowers. Colin chose two different varieties so we should have huge yellow ones and smaller orange ones.  Lydia and I planted the large flowers in the center, surrounded by the smaller, orange ones around the perimeter.

When I mentioned the seeds were planted on Facebook, my brother (who was in the Army National Guard) shared this neat story --

Sgt M would always carry around a packet of sunflower seeds, and whenever we'd stop for something... refuel, location we were setting up camp, etc, he'd walk over a few feet and plant a few. So, people in WI, from Milwaukee to Ft. McCoy, the random sunflowers that may pop up on the side of the road... it's his fault. LOL

Isn't that a great story?  

Have you planted anything yet this spring?  

Tell Me Thursday - 7 years ago

Yesterday's picture was of my 2 boys -- 7 years ago.  Only 18 months apart, they have been buddies since Nate's birth.

When they were this small, I really couldn't imagine them at 9 & 11.  And, now that they're 9 & 11, I'm having a hard time remembering them this small.

Toddlers were easy.  I know we're in for a ride the next 10 years. Things have been rocky the last few days here, so I thought a picture of my sweet, lovable boys was just what I needed to see yesterday.  Today, I'm back to the disciplinarian.

Tell Me Thursday - Memories

From our return from the beach in October until a couple weeks ago, the shells we collected at the beach lived in my biggest glass mixing bowl.  And that bowl was constantly moved around because I knew I wanted to do "something" with them, but didn't know what.

As I was putting something away a couple weeks ago, I found this glass covered bowl and realized it was the perfect vessel for our shells.

I took some time to carefully place them, and now they sit on my kitchen counter.  I love looking at them and remember the days spent in sunshine walking along the beach collecting shells with my kids.

Tell Me Thursday - Sight

Colin's teacher sent an email a couple weeks ago letting me know that he insisted on laying his head down on his desk while doing his work, and it turned out that it was because he was struggling to see.  It had been almost a year since his last eye exam, and I knew that it was due -- but her email prompted an immediate visit.

Turns out, his vision had changed.  A LOT!  Poor kid needed almost an entire degree change in each lens.  This picture is of his new glasses -- and the most important thing is that he can now see clearly!

Zeiss Lenses has some great educational information available about vision care, eye appointments and the ever-important lenses when vision correction is necessary.   They recommend an eye exam every 2 years once kids are in school, but obviously if there appears to be a vision change, then more often.  I remember one year when Colin needed 3 different prescriptions within the same year!

I also appreciated the information about vision after the age of 40.  I've worn progressive lenses for a few years now, and while I sort of understood the need for reading glasses, the article provided me with the facts.  After a certain age, the crystalline lens over your eye loses flexibility, which makes it harder to focus on close objects.

I've worn glasses or contacts since I was 5 or 6 years old. Vision isn't something I take for granted, and I am grateful for the improvements in vision correction!  

*Disclosure: I was provided the information about Zeiss Lenses Educational Tools from Zeiss and MomSelect.  In consideration of sharing this information, I received a gift card and a lens cleaning kit.  No additional compensation was provided.*

Tell Me Thursday - Talker

This past Saturday, there was a local NSA Kids Meeting at ASU.  Nate and I were looking forward to it, and decided to stop for breakfast on our way.  I can't believe how much he's grown -- he ate that huge plate of food and then immediately ate snacks when we got to the meeting.  A growth spurt is definintely in the works!

The meeting was another great meeting!  I love how they start with everyone together and then break out into groups of parents, kids and teens.  The parents group talked about IEPs last week, while the kids talked about relaxation strategies to employ while stuttering (or preparing to speak) and the teens talked about teasing. 

After the meeting, we were talking with one of the leaders, who happened to be in the kids' group with Nate.  She thanked him for being so willing to talk and keep the conversation going.  She said she knew she could count on him to contribute, even when everyone else was quiet. 

That's the truth!  He has rarely let his stutter keep him from talking.  When I snapped this picture, he was telling me about Ford Mustangs.  He has an amazing wealth of knowledge about those cars!  I love how eager he is to learn, and how eager he is to share what he has learned.