One Year

Today marks one year since my dad died.  I sat here for about 10 minutes trying to decide what phrase to use -- passed on, passed away, took his last breath -- but in the end, the simplest word seemed the most appropriate.  My dad died.

I wasn't sure what grief was going to look like this past year, but now I know.  It was the sudden pangs in my chest, the burst of tears when I would think of something to tell him, the overall ache of realizing he was truly gone.  I felt that I was somewhat prepared for his death, and I still think I was.  He was suffering, he had lost so much of his brilliant mind at the end, and he was struggling. I know that it was his time, even though it feels like it was much too soon.  But, what I wasn't prepared for was the complete lack of his presence. I wasn't prepared for not being able to talk to him. I wasn't prepared for not being able to hear his opinion on things. I wasn't prepared for him not being here.  I was just prepared for the moment of his death -- not all the moments of my life without him.

And I realized that grief is pretty much a solitary thing.  At least it has been for me.  My journey is mine -- just as everyone's journey is their own.  That's not to say that I haven't received support, for I have.  But the grief my mom has dealt with losing her partner of almost 50 years is much different than mine -- or even my sister's or my brother's grief. I'm grateful that my husband has been here with me and for me.

In the end, life for everyone else has gone on. I wish I could say that I've had some epiphany and embarked on some grand journey to honor him -- but I haven't.  I've just gone on with my life, caring for my family, myself, and working.  Thoughts of him are with me every day. I've honored him by remembering him, by telling my children about him, by keeping his memory in my heart.

Today I will go to work -- teaching Adobe InDesign to a group of people.  I'll probably cry in my truck a bit.  I'll come home, check in on my mom next door, have dinner with my family.  I'll honor my dad by loving and caring for my family the best way I know how -- just as he did.

Sharing Arizona with friends

Last week, I let the kids play hooky from school! It was well worth it because a friend of ours, Sarah, was in town from frigid Boston.

We had the good fortune to meet Sarah thanks to the National Stuttering Association, where she takes charge of many of the kid activities at the annual conferences.  Over the last 3 years, we've gotten to know her better and think she is awesome!

She stutters, and is an ELL teacher, as well as a member of the Board of Directors of the NSA.  When Nate's teachers mentioned earlier this year that they couldn't imagine a teacher stuttering, I wished I could teleport Sarah into their classrooms so she could show them that it was no big deal!

One of the things that I like about Sarah is that she is extremely kind and considerate towards everyone. She really takes the time to listen, especially to kids! She has taken a genuine interest in my 3, but I know that if you asked any parent whose kids spent some time with her they would say the same thing!

We were excited to show her the Desert Botanical Gardens during her stay in our lovely, warm state and she and her sweet friend had a great day.  My kids shared their wealth of knowledge about Arizona and I know that if nothing else -- the sunshine and warmth were highlights of their day.

On our way home, Lydia piped up from the back seat -- "I really like Sarah's stutter!" and Nate said "I liked being able to spend the day with someone else who stuttered!"  It reminded me again how grateful I am that we found the National Stuttering Association.  It's allowed us to meet the most amazing and wonderful people and build fabulous friendships.  Along the way, we've learned quite a bit about stuttering -- mainly that it just doesn't matter if someone stutters!  No matter who you are, or what your gifts are, all that matters is how you treat others.

Sarah is a shining example of a wonderful person that I'm glad my kids look up to.  She makes our world a better place. If she didn't stutter, we probably never would have met -- so I'm also grateful for Nate's stutter and her own!

Stuttering is Cool Book Review

I have mentioned Rossi's book, Stuttering is Cool, before on the blog -- but Nate just made a video review of the book that he wanted me to share!

You can find the book on etsy by following this link!

Del Monte Fruit Review & Giveaway

One of the things I love about camping these days is that we have the RV pretty well stocked.  When we head off on a trip, we add food to the refrigerator and pantry and pack a couple outfits.  Del Monte sent me some new fruit cups and squeezers the day before we headed out on our last camping trip.  I'm glad I snapped this picture before we left, since it was all gone by the end!

My kids enjoy fruit, and fruit cups and squeezers are a convenient thing to add to a lunch, eat while driving down the road in our RV, or added to a meal.  I actually froze the pineapple-mango cups before we left, and the kids ate the slushy treat after they thawed out a bit.

I love that there are more choices than peaches, pears and applesauce! The mango cups and the mango-pineapple were big hits with all the kids.  I'd tell you what I thought myself, but I'll have to buy some more to find out!  The FruitBurst squeezers were quickly gone as well, but I did snag one of the peach-mango flavored ones that was tasty.  My kids have already asked me to buy more mango cups!

Some nutrition and other details about the FruitBurst squeezers and cups: 

Made in the U.S.A., Del Monte® Fruit Burst®Squeezers contain 1 ½ servings of fruit or fruit and veggies and are an excellent source of vitamins A and C. In addition, Del Monte® Fruit Burst®Squeezers contain no artificial flavors or high fructose corn syrup.

Fruit Burst® Fruit + Veggie Squeezers:
- Peach-Mango: Pear puree concentrate, water, pumpkin juice concentrate, peach puree concentrate, pear juice concentrate, carrot juice concentrate, carrot puree, mango puree concentrate, natural flavors, ascorbic acid (vitamin C), citric acid.
- Blueberry: Pear puree concentrate, water, pumpkin juice concentrate, pear juice concentrate, natural flavors, carrot puree, blueberry puree concentrate, fruit and vegetable extracts for color, ascorbic acid (vitamin C), citric acid.

Fruit Burst® Simply Fruit Squeezers:
- Apple Cinnamon: Pear puree concentrate, water, apple puree concentrate, pear juice concentrate, natural flavors, ascorbic acid (vitamin C), cinnamon, malic acid.
- Mixed Berry: Pear puree concentrate, water, pear juice concentrate, natural flavors, strawberry puree, red raspberry puree concentrate, blueberry puree concentrate, fruit and vegetable extracts for color, ascorbic acid (vitamin C), malic acid.
- Strawberry: Pear puree concentrate, water, pear juice concentrate, strawberry puree concentrate, natural flavors, carmine, ascorbic acid (vitamin C), malic acid.

Mango Fruit Cup® Snacks
- These rich and luscious mangos are a healthy way to add a little sweetness to your day - fat-free, cholesterol free, and high in Vitamin C - that you can enjoy anywhere.
Mango Pineapple Fruit Cup® Snacks:
- Del Monte® Mango Pineapple Fruit Cup® Snacks combine two of the world’s most popular fruits: mango and pineapple. Made with rich and luscious mangos and pineapple, they contain no high fructose corn syrup and are a rich source of vitamin C.

I know how important it is to provide plenty of healthy snacks for our kids! I'm happy that DelMonte is sponsoring a giveaway on my blog for one of my readers to receive 2 VIP coupons for DelMonte fruit, as well as a $25 WalMart gift certificate to help you out on your next grocery trip!

To enter the giveaway, FOLLOW THIS LINK and fill out the form.  The name of the giveaway is DelMonte and the mandatory question is: What is your favorite fruit?  A winner will be chosen and notified on February 27, 2014.  

*Disclosure: I received a gift pack in exchange for my review.  All opinions expressed are my own. Products for the giveaway were provided by DelMonte.*

Library Donations

A couple weeks ago, Nate stopped in his school library and donated 3 books.  The librarian was thrilled to receive the books, and Nate shared with  her that he was donating them because he knew the authors, and that they stuttered, just like him.

The first book, Stuttering is Cool, is written by Daniele Rossi and is his story of stuttering and advice to others who stutter.  Rossi is very active in the stuttering community -- not only writing this great book, but also hosting a podcast, founding Stutter Social, and presenting workshops at the NSA conferences.   The book is geared towards adults and children.  It includes tons of great comics drawn by Rossi, as well as excellent written information. And, we also think the book is cool because Nate is quoted, and there's an awesome graphic that includes both me & Nate (as well as a bunch of other really cool people!)

The other 2 books are Chicken Soup for the Soul books, that each include an essay by Jody Fuller. He's another great guy we've met thanks to the National Stuttering Association, and an adult who has never let a stutter hold him back from pursuing his dreams.  I think after meeting Jody, Nate realized that there was no reason he couldn't grow up to be a public speaker himself.

You can purchase Daniele's book, Stuttering is Cool on etsy.

You can purchase Jody's books from Amazon: 

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive for Kids: 101 Stories about Good Decisions, Self-Esteem, and Positive Thinking
 Chicken Soup for the Soul: From Lemons to Lemonade: 101 Positive, Practical, and Powerful Stories about Making the Best of a Bad Situation

*Disclosure: The books were purchased by me at retail cost to donate to the school library.  No considerations involved in this post.  Just sharing some great information about a couple wonderful people.*

Wordless Wednesday - Loving AZ in January

Monster Jam Review

We were fortunate enough to be given 4 tickets (thank you Feld Entertainment!) to the Monster Jam show that recently came to Chase Field in Phoenix.  Bo took the kids, and they had a blast! I asked them to make a video review, and they were only too happy to oblige.  Nate is 11, Colin 13, and Lydia is 6.   Nate and Lydia are the big car and truck lovers of my kids, but Colin still enjoyed himself.  He looks a bit reserved, but remember -- he's 13!

My husband said the place was packed, and everyone seemed to be having a great time.  Tickets were sold out for the Phoenix show, and Chase Field is pretty big!  As the kids noted in the review, it was VERY loud, but ear plugs helped dampen the noise. 

The show is still traveling the country, and based on the fun my kids had, I highly recommend going if you have the chance.  All the venues can be found at www.monsterjam.com.  

*Disclosure: I am a Feld Family Ambassador, and in exchange for my time and efforts in attending shows and reporting my opinion within this blog, as well as keeping you advised of the latest discount offers, Feld Entertainment has provided me with complimentary tickets to Feld shows and opportunities to attend private Feld pre-Show events. Even though I receive these benefits, I always give an opinion that is 100% mine.*

Wordless Wednesday - Science Experiment

Review: Disney on Ice Rockin Ever After

We just got home from Disney On Ice Rockin' Ever After.  One of our young nephews was in town, so our oldest gave up his ticket so he could go.  He's 6, like Lydia, but had never been to a show like this before.

In the car on the way there, Lydia was explaining how there were men and women who did amazing skating and dressed up like characters from princess movies.  He replied, "That's really not my style."

Once the show started, however, he was dancing in his seat and having a great time!  He admitted that he thought the show was great!  He seemed most interested in the lighting arrangement, and declared his favorite part when the fireworks went off.

Yes!  Fireworks go off during various parts of this show, and there's even real fire torches during the Beauty and the Beast scenes. It was another extremely well-done, professional, entertaining show.  I love how they come up with a different spin on stories we know so well through the use of costumes and ice dancing.

This show focuses on Ariel, Rapunzel, Merida and Belle.  It's the first show with Merida performing and I loved the way they portrayed her little brothers!

As always, the show started right on time, and lasted for 2 hours with a short intermission half way through.  I really appreciate how the show is always on time.

The show is still in Phoenix through the weekend.  Check Ticketmaster for tickets.  The show received a big "thumbs up" from our family!

I have a few pictures I took -- which aren't the best -- but give you an idea of the show. You really have to see it in person to fully appreciate the level of artistry that goes into every aspect, from lighting to costumes to choreography.

*Disclosure: I am a Feld Family Ambassador, and in exchange for my time and efforts in attending shows and reporting my opinion within this blog, as well as keeping you advised of the latest discount offers, Feld Entertainment has provided me with complimentary tickets to Feld shows and opportunities to attend private Feld pre-Show events. Even though I receive these benefits, I always give an opinion that is 100% mine.*

So Long, 2013 . . .

Last year found us rejoicing when Nate recovered from his weird illness (no relapses! no real answers either!), and watching my dear father slowly, then quickly deteriorate until he died in March.  There's a lot of numbness and grief and sadness that I'm still trying to cope with  - but I'm trying to meet it head on even though sometimes I'm completely overwhelmed.

2008 - I love how Lydia is looking over at my Dad!

August 2013 - our RV

I traveled a bunch for one client, and we traveled quite a bit as a family.  We bought an RV in early spring, which I think was one of the absolute best things we have ever purchased.  We have taken numerous camping trips since, exploring various places in Arizona and California, and look forward to many, many more trips.

So much more happened in 2013.  But to take a glance back to what stands out -- this about covers it.  Family, Death, Grief, and Travel.

Realizing how much I love my husband and depend on him. ( I have never doubted it, but this year situations arose that made it even clearer and dearer in my heart.)

Missing my dad desperately.  I thought I was somewhat prepared, but every day I wish I could talk to him again.

Enjoying the peace and laughter that camping brings the entire family.  Watching our kids explore the wilderness, and our 2 youngest tempt the eldest out of the RV to join them has provided hours of delight.

In 2014, I expect more travel. (Big trips on the horizon - including Europe with my mom & siblings!)

Most of all, I expect more love.  More gratitude.  More peace.

I recently came across this quote from Jim Henson and it seems fitting to kick off 2014. 

“Watch out for each other. Love everyone and forgive everyone, including yourself. Forgive your anger. Forgive your guilt. Your shame. Your sadness. Embrace and open up your love, your joy, your truth, and most especially your heart.”

~ Jim Henson