This Week

We had a fairly busy week last week - between homeschooling, my dentist visits, and normal life.

This week, we've got another busy one. Lots on tap for homeschooling; another emergency visit to the dentist for me (a tooth on the other side of my mouth cracked tonight!); mail a box of goodies to my brother in Kuwait; lunch with a friend & her new baby; can recycling; paper recycling; drop off at the food bank; and a grocery run or two.

I'm still trying to plan meals! Last week I cleaned out and re-organized the pantry and this week I want to get to the freezer. I really need to just SIT DOWN with a few cookbooks and a blank calendar and plan out meals! I don't know why I am so blocked about doing it. It would make my life so much simpler, and DH would eat so much better. I just need to block out some time on the calendar and DO IT.

I have this week's homeschooling mostly planned out. I am so eager for the weather to cool down so we can start spending time at the zoo and botanical gardens again. I planned the first half of the week and am waiting to see how it goes to decide what we'll do in the latter half.

I need to catch up with laundry (again!) and give the floors a good cleaning this week. I need to deep clean my room and go through the pile of clothes currently on the rocker in there . . . but I admit that I don't know if I'll get to that. Some of this will depend on whether or not I end up with another root canal this week. If I do - I will have to figure out a way to earn some money so we can afford all this dental work!

I'd also like to fit in some time for me . . . and I don't think sitting in the dentist's chair should count. I have a movie from Netflix waiting for me to watch, my hair desperately needs a cut, my brows need waxing, my toenails need painting. Realistically, this week, I will probably paint my toenails and *maybe* watch the movie. I should take the portable player to bed with me and watch a movie instead of reading before sleep.

Fine Art Friday #11

"A Quack Dentist Extracting A Tooth, While A Group Of Onlookers Watch Nearby"
Gerrit Van Honthorst
early 1600's (?)

This seemed appropriate for today - since I am off this morning to have a tooth extracted. I can only hope there won't be gawking onlookers at my dentist's office . . . but I'm sure I'll be making a face similar to the poor fellow in this painting.

mom's group

I hosted a planning meeting for the mom's group at my parish on Friday. 3 other moms came, and 2 extra children. It was a good meeting, but it made me realize (again) just how bossy I can be at times.

I planned it as a lunch, and went the extremely simple route of ordering pizzas and made some iced tea. One of the moms brought a wonderful fresh fruit salad. After eating, the kids went off to play in the playroom and the moms met.

Well, the moms talked. And talked. And talked. LOL! I had my notebook on the table and I brought up a blank document and starting typing some introductory notes for myself and then I'd interject with "Wow! I'm so glad you could all come today! Do you think we should meet once a month or go back to twice a month?" Conversation ensued . . . no real winner coming through . . . so I said "Well, sounds like we're meeting once a month this year with added activities if we decide -- but our regular meeting will happen once a month."

Then, another tangent is taken so I come back a few minutes later with "What time should we meet? Stick with 10AM or should we move it back to 9?"

And, so on, for the entire meeting. I did say at point "I'm sorry I sound so bossy . . . " and one of the other moms responded "No, it's good . . . we'd never have any solutions if you didn't!" We did come up with some new topics, so that was good, since the last year & 1/2 all the topics were primarily thought up and presented by me. There was some interest in doing service projects - this has happened before, though, and nothing came of it. I hope this year we can pull something together.

I started the group with the thought if I could just meet ONE other mom - it was all worthwhile. Thankfully, I've met a few other moms and they've all been a blessing in my life. It'll be interesting to see how this year pans out, since I plan on really pushing for more members and trying to grow our group beyond the regular 2-4 moms I could count on last year.

Fine Art Friday #10

Arches, North Court, Mission San Xavier del Bac, Tucson, Arizona
Ansel Adams
1968

We visited the San Xavier mission last weekend. While we took some pictures that I liked, this one by Ansel Adams is stunning.

philosopher

google

Someone, in a city I used to live in, googled a nickname of mine and found me here. Looks like the person spent some time going through most of my archives.

If it's you -- could you leave a comment or send me an email and let me know who you are?

thanks ;)

Fine Art Friday #9

"Summer"

Alphonse Mucha
1896

If you click on the painting info above, you'll find a website with a wealth of information about this painter. I enjoy his "art deco" look and decided that "Summer" would be an appropriate choice for this month.

mom's group topics??

I know I don't have many readers . . . but those I do have are mostly moms . . .

So, help me out! What topics would you like to see discussed / covered during a mom's group?

Our mom's group meets at our parish one morning a month. There is no childcare offered for children, so they are with us in the same room (limits certain topics.) Topics covered in the past include: gentle discipline, prayer, building a domestic church, meal planning, sign language, frugal living, good books.

In the past, we've opened with a prayer (Hail Mary) and shared prayer requests. Then we usually take a moment to talk about the next topic, any playdates or mom's nights out planned for the month, and any other business (like if an expecting mom needs meals, etc.) Then, we move into the topic and usually wrap up 90 minutes later.

Any ideas for topics that you might have are welcome! I need to plan at least the first half of the year and feel tapped out.

Thank you!

9 Years Ago Today

Nothing is nobler, nor more admirable, than when two people who see eye to eye live together as husband and wife, thereby confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. -- Homer

Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family -- a domestic church. -- Pope John Paul II

As a lily among thorns, so is my beloved among women -- Song of Songs 2:2

As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my lover among men. -- Song of Songs 2:3

No sooner met but they looked; no sooner looked but they loved; no sooner loved but they sighed; no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy; and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage. -- Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

kids at mass

Today, C mentioned that he looks around for the kids he met at Vacation Bible School every week, but he's never sees any of them. I explained that there are 4 different weekend masses right now (we'll jump to 7 or 8 next month when the snowbirds start coming back to town), so they may attend different times. DH then said that not all parents take their kids to mass - and as an aside to me "they're not willing to stick it out for years until they are better behaved!"

It's so true! There were Sundays when I left the church, or DH left the church with one or both boys. There were many Sundays when I was red with embarrassment over their behavior. There were Sundays when I left church wanting to crawl under a rock because the boys were noisy, fidgety, annoying or just down-right awful.

But, we stuck with it!

One thing we did was change parishes to one that had a family/cry room. The parish we joined when we first moved to this area did not have a family/cry room because the pastor said he felt that everyone belonged at the mass, and he did not want anyone segregated. Unfortunately, he never took the time to remind the congregation, and we were often bombarded with dirty looks and nasty comments about our 2 young boys' antics. I admit that our attendance fell, and I felt horrible about it.

When N was 2 and C was 3, we changed parishes. There were a few reasons, but a big reason was the fact that they had a family/cry room available! We used it for the first year or so we attended - but not all the time. We tried some masses outside the room, and others inside the room. The room worked best for us when it was mostly empty. At crowded masses, it didn't work as well, because many parents felt their kids could run wild and didn't have to behave.

(Which is a big pet peeve of mine! Even though we were in this separate space, I saw it as a place to help kids learn HOW to behave -- which meant that there might be quiet talking to correct behavior, or infants crying, or young toddlers wandering a little bit. I NEVER thought of it as a place to let preschoolers / young grade school children run around and chatter non-stop. It made teaching appropriate church behavior much more difficult! But, it was the perfect place to go when behavior in the pews would be horrid, and I'm grateful that the option was there for us.)

We tried different times to see which worked best for our family. When it was important that we use the cry room, the best mass times were the masses that not many children attended. In our parish, that means early morning (8AM) or Sunday evening (6PM). If we shared the cry room at that time, it was usually with one other family only - which allowed more teaching moments to occur.

As they got older, we tried the family mass. At this mass, the kids are able to leave before the readings and return after the homily. They go together for a "children's liturgy" during this time.

Currently, the 6PM mass on Sunday works best for us. It's not very crowded, and since it's the teen mass, the music includes drums, chimes and guitar. N loves the added music.

Regardless of which mass we attend, it helps immensely if we get there early! Trying to get situated when mass has already started is very frustrating and embarrassing for me. This is something that DH and I have worked hard to come to terms with - since he tends to be "on-time" for things (in other words - late!) Arriving 5-10 minutes prior to mass makes a huge difference for my comfort level.

We've worked out the best places to sit during mass. This depends on which mass we attend - if we attend 10AM mass, we tend to sit in one area where many families we know tend to congregate (and their older kids are great examples!). During 6PM mass, we tend to sit in one of the first few rows so the boys can see as much as possible.

In the past, I tried bringing packs of holy cards, prayer books, lacing cards . . . and for my kids, it never really worked. They usually wanted me to play "with" them, or discuss with them vs. sitting quietly. The best thing we ever brought were travel-sized magnadoodles. In fact, my 5.5 year old brought his magnadoodle yesterday and spent a good portion of mass drawing the crucifix. I NEVER brought snacks, but I did bring sippy cups of water when they were much younger (2 and 3 years old.)

Something else that has worked for us is spending time outside of mass explaining the different parts of mass. We visit the church during the week so we can walk around and look at the different parts of the church. We light a candle and say a prayer for whatever intentions we have. We talk about liturgical colors. I review the readings before mass and talk about things to listen for. For C right now, his interest is peaked by readings from Jeremiah (his middle name), Matthew (his uncle's name) and Peter (his grandfather's name). Both boys are more interested when it's a story they're familiar with (like the recent readings about the loaves and fishes).

I think the most important thing is consistency. Going every week and talking about the expectations of behavior, and explaining why we attend makes more difference than anything. N has a very hard time sitting still, and I've become much more tolerant of it. It's important for us to BE there, and BE there as a family. We are all trying our best and that's all I can ask.

If we didn't attend regularly, they would never learn proper behavior. We'd have to start over each and every week we actually DID attend.

It has helped with this new parish. I started a mom's group, and have met some wonderful families that attend regularly with all their children. This parish is much more family-friendly than our previous parish, and parishioners are much more tolerant - which has made it easier for us.

I think that if you ask most parents who attend regularly what the key is to good behavior - they would agree that it is consistency and education. Just keep going. Just keep talking. Just keep praying.